i just bought this japanese gum last night and the package reads (and i'm not joking): "lotte's superior ingredients give this gum its deliciously plus unsurpassed know-how refreshing and lasting flavor"

each individual piece reads: "hi-technical excellent taste and flavor". if anyone is more interested in cool and random stuff, they should visit this place.

going to a soc-hop tonight. this is the KOC ..where the bud runs frothy and the 3rd shelf liquor is more expensive..and the bartender with hairy hands takes your money and scoops your ice with the same hand. a feast for the senses, indeed.

have a good weekend!

the other day, my memere says to me: "i learn spanish from that sesame show..go 'head, talk spanish to me." then we proceeded to have this drawn out conversation about how hard-up nuns must be for lovin..i love my memere.

saw public enemy sans flavah flav. according to chuck-d "he's upstate right now because o' the punks!" go chuck! love him. also, through shear miscommunication, missed this show but believe i am genuinely in love with the guitar player andre. he operates an organic whole-food store AND plays the music of Frank Zappa..gawd, help me!

via a photographer friend whom i haven't met yet, i found this guy, cuba rocks my world: mark tucker.


i'm really focused right now on what i'm good at, what i'm not so good at, and what i would sincerely like to accomplish in this lifetime.

that is all.

don't want no scrubs

i think saying that i don't want a "scrub" for a boyfriend is less bigoted than my original thought, which was that men suck. i will try my best here to explain myself and apologize in advance to any male contingent that reads this and gets offended but it starts off like this:

i meet this guy who seems really cool. he goes on and on about how cool and beautiful i am. soon, i see flowers and romance, (ie, it goes down) and all of a sudden all this other emotionally intense stuff is revealed which kinda scares me and thrills me at the same time, though my head is so foggy lately i don;t know what the hell to make of it. soon, we talk on the phone everyday and our meetings because less and less bc i am getting sick of being the one to drive to his house which takes a 1/2 hour each way, bc he has no car, he's working, or he's just being lazy...so whatever, i say to myself, i just won't see him. it's his turn this time. fortunately, i have gotten better at setting limits about that shite.. i just don't do it anymore bc it always leads to one-sided relationships and well, fuck that. anywayl, his turn was up last night and lemme tell ya, it sucked.

i mean, not at first, it didn't suck. yea, he called to say he'd be late. THAT was okay. i meet him at the red-line. we talk on a park bench. he goes on about himself (as per usual). i listen (as per usual) and just try to unwind from my day . that part was actually nice. by this time, the sun had set, it was breezy and nice and i ask him a second time what he wants to do about dinner, it being about 8ish and i usually eat my salad-lunch at 12 in the afternoon..plainly stated, i was hungry. but he kept avoiding my question. said he had rice and beans that his mama made (hello, lightbulb right there!) before he left so he wasn't really hungry yet.

so we walk to my house through a field. by this time, his cell phone has rung and he's looking at it quizzically, trying to figure out who it is and mumbling to himself. i mean, that part is fine, i do the same, but generally when i am with someone in a romantic context, i try to buffer my cell phone calls as much as possible..but whatever..none of us is perfect..moving on.

we get home. i do my normal thing..feed the cat, boot my pc, change, have a beverage and now i'm having a sugar-free ice cream bar. in the meantime, he meets my roommate. everything is coming up daises right? in some bizarre attempt to be funny, he says "so you ate something, you shouldn't be hungry anymore, right? i'm like "yea.. ha ha ha"..dead pan, just like that. i'm not certain if his comment was meant to be a joke or what but i didn't appreciate it. like, when i'm hungry for dinner and not getting any feedback from the other person about what he wants to do and then he tries to tell me what i should eat...um...uh uh..NO, so i took that personally which i shouldn't have but by this point, i'm tired and sorta put off.

so we watch Bernie Mac (my man) and Sedric and I have more interaction with my roommate than him, which i think is natural. i think peeps just get shy around new ppl. Normal. Fine. During commercial, he asks my roommate for a butt, which is like whatever, I can't judge, I do that to my poor roommate too when I'm cravin the ol' social butt, but this dood is a "smoker" so it just struck me as odd that he ain't got none.

Finally, I say to Rach, let's just get chinese because I've still ain't heard any suggestions from the boy. Rach is up for it. Cool, we call and while I'm on the phone with Beijing Taste woman who thinks I'm saying 37 but I'm really saying 113, he pipes in that "yea, that sounds good' when Rach says "well, i'm getting such and such and you can have some." Then Rach goes to the restroom or something and a commercial comes on for the program that I'm now not enjoying because he looks bored and tired and has no input and it's sorta stressing me out. I start cleaning the litter box which, by this time, looks like a dump-truck full of cat poop *fun* and he comes over to me and whispers "you know i don't have any money, right?" I don't say anything. At this point, I'm hunched down scooping up shit. Then I'm like "um, ok" and he says "well, if i see you tomorrow, i can getchu back then." Bells go off in my mind..Sorry, here I need to disclaim, I was raised poor, working class and prolly have more debt than Vivendi and can certainly relate to ppl who are low on cash, but my thing is like "why you come all the way across town to hang with no loot"..all i can think is that this guy is a cheap-scrub and it turns me off, hardcore and no longer do i want him to spend the night. Like, what if I wanted to actually do something other than sitting around in my house?

So whatever, i try to let that go. The Sedric premiere is almost over. Dinner is on it's way. Rach is still doing something else. He asks me "what's wrong." I take my tactically passive-aggressive approach and say "nothing, what's wrong with you?" because I often someone equate else's transgressions as being my own fault. Then he comes over again and whispers "can you ask your roommate if i can have another cigarette." i respond "you can go by some at the store ya know ..at this point, he's trying to cuddle. he says "well, i was gonna bring $26 but i forgot it because i knew i was only coming here.."SNAP"..wtf.. i say "oh thanks, so the thought of taking me out never crossed your mind. He says something like "oh, c'mon now and i tell him to take his ghetto-ass outside and smoke the half that i left outside, that I "bummed" from my roommate. Well, the words ghetto-ass were not used, but thought.

We eat, I start getting ready for bed. Trying to do my usual ritual. He's sprawled out on my bed talking to his boy. I don't know what's being said since it's in another language. I tell him I set up the sofa bed bc I dont like sharing my bed, which is totally true. I'm a super-light sleeper and i have heard him snore already, but i'm also pretty disappointed by this point. this wasn't what i had envisioned for the evening. oh well. what can you do...

so that was that, until he woke me up at 2am bc he heard the eletronic litter box. he came into my room and in this frightened voice said "krist--een, i tink i heard a noize outsiide". it was the litter box that i had cleaned earlier that night. he left at 6 am. i think i'm destined to be alone. i think maybe ppl are nice but just haven't grown up, maybe or they just think they know that they want but their body and behaviors say otherwise. none of us wants to be alone, but sometimes that's exactly what we need.

ps. if forgot to add that the movie was watched was aptly called "From Hell" much like my date. no seriously, good flick and also had to scrub the kitchen floor bc there's some weird stain there. so that was literally two SCRUBS in one night --okay, shutting up now.

oh jesus, what a crappy primary we just had. i mean, are you one of the ten ppl who actually turned out to vote? this sucks. now we're gonna be stuck with this moderate liberal...*shivers* i mean, i actually champion the idea of on-line voting tho a friend says it would totally leave elections open to hacking, etc. i mean, yea, i can see that point, but we are getting better technologically at detecting that stuff, then again, so are hackers, but nothing could have been more botched then last year's presidential election. my point here in proposing on-line voting is this a) americans could continue to be complacent and lazy in the privacy of their own homes, but will at least be able to part-take in the democratic process (if there's such a thing left) b) on-line voting might actually get ppl to be more interested in candidates c) candidate debates could be simulcast, poll ratings, etc..we might even get more than a 1/3 of americans to participate

i mean, i dunno..seems like this system isn't working to our benefit, but if anyone can think of any better ideas, please bring 'em on. i mean, i'm registered Green Party and when i go to vote, they see the "G" next to my name and don't even know what it is. It's like "Oh, you're Green..why bother voting? Just pick from Tweedil Dee or Tweedil Dum like the rest of us!"

i mean, honestly, when it comes down to it, voting can be a real hassle. those lines, those crappy candidates. as my friend said when i asked him if he vote "no..... i'm actually voting-impaired. The whole process just confuses me." i think the majority of americans feel that way, so i propose not only changing the two-party system but making voting more accessible and efficient.

*steps off soapbox and trips*

when good IT goes bad:

scott: hey... do you want to out on the ledge with me today. I'm going to go buck naked. Then get lunch after. This afternoon we can take turns pushing each other down stairs.
me: lmfao!
me: whoo hooo.. i wore my nice gap underweyahs today
scott: how about we just walk to the hospital.. find and empty room... and just crawl into the beds and pretend to be patients in comas

me: we could play good brick/bad brick again..whattya say now?
scott: i want to be be bad brick!
scott: or do you want to play door-finger-slam_slam?
me: but we always play that, how bout something new like ice pick thumb wrestling?

also, this morning someone in my building had left a note that read the following:

Please do not steal newspapers that do not belong to you. It is a crime and a sin. Please be a good neighbor/person and don't take newspapers that aren't yours.

No doubt it sucks to have your stuff taken, but I find in ironic that they put "crime" before "sin." Like the "sin" part was just an addendum in case the thief wasn't remorseful b/c it was illegal, so they had to throw in the religious thing. Odd.

cube dreaming

I'm very disconcerted by the fact that this company hasn't in any way addressed or recognized the anniversary of Sept. 11, nor does anyone in here seem to give a shit except for Ken-Spits-when-he-talks bitching about the bomb threat in Lynn that delayed his train. So, my guess is that no one really cares or they think it to sensitive or weak to even take a moment to recognize lives lost. On that note, I'll share a quote that an old friend sent me. Made me feel comforted in some ways, but I'm finding myself tearing up a lot at my desk and wondering why it is that I'm here on this earth. And, i think it's also a good idea to try and do productive, positive things today instead of watching the garbage on TV that i got semi-sucked into last night, leaving me thoroughly depressed.

And war sucks.

I tried having a decent political convo about Iraq last night with this guy from NYC. He told me, and I quote "you better do your research" because I wasn't learned in the oil supply to England issue. At which point, I said "oh ok. thanks for enlightening me" wtf is it that I can't have conversations with "most" males w/o them trying to attack my intelligence in some way? Is it that they are threatened by me? Are they unable to comprehend why I, as a woman, would have any political knowledge, background or ..heaven-forbid--an opinion.

Yes, these are irritable times, but ya know what? I'm sort of tired of appeasing other ppl's insecurities. Like, I'm not gonna sacrifice honesty to sate you or bc you are too defensive to hear it.

That's all.

PEACE


"Though the valley of death did swallow them whole

God, let no soul die in vain

when the boundaries of peace get out of control

let the angel of mercy hold close their name."

- Michael Troy

I am craving weird things today:
1]egg salad
2]peanut butter and jelly w/o breaD
3]strawberry seeds


i know this is cheap, but if you go to dev's jn you can take part in our jubilant dialogue about Budweiser advertising. I found it amusing.

Onward
Contained in everything I do
There's a love, I feel for you
Proclaimed in everything I write
You're the light
Burning, brightly

Onward through the night
Onward through the night
Onward through the night of my life

Displayed in all the things I see
There's a love you show to me
Portrayed in all the things you say
You're the day
Leading the way

Onward through the night
Onward through the night
Onward through the night of my life

Onward through the night
Onward through the night
Onward through the night of my life

i have green pukey nails

i have this kewl, pukey green weird color on my nails. that is all, really.
i have like majour stuff going on as well, but not sure if i'm up for journalling about it. might just go in my new cork, tangible journal. i've been workin on flash stuff for my bro's band site. so far, i have this and a few buttons. still in fledgling mode

ellipse.

also, i was listening to Yes yesterday and this one song made me practically lose it at my desk. i forget which track. just a beautiful song.

When the "pretty people" bitch and moan

I had the unfortunate opportunity of witnessing these year's VMA awards and feel it necessary to comment on the following things:

a) the choices in current music, sucks (but you already knew that)
b) jah-ruh and ashanti will be performing at a Burker King near you within a year
c) eminem (don't believe the hype!)
d) everyone was either coked out or drunk at the podiem
e) how do you spell "podiem"?
f)emimen needs serious psycho-therapy
d) Mary J Blige was the only gracious person who spoke, besides MJ, who outright frightens me (sorry :)
h) Nike operates sweat shops world-wide and all i got were these lousy VMA's
i) GNR is more like FIIO... "Face it, it's over"
j)How's the coke treatin ya, Christina?
k) Kewl camera filter but oddly it made everyone look like Corporate Whores with over-priced clothing
l)Jimmy Falon was comical, at least
J) precisely how many cow's were involved in the making of these outfits. Gwen Stefani's outfit alone would have accounted for at least five steer
K) and finally, stop bitching because you make like 1/3 of the nation's wealth ..SHUT THE EFF UP!! NO ONE FEELS SORRY FOR YOU!! Maybe you should take that money and go buy yourself some talent. At least, take some voice lessons, c'mon!

k, that being that, i forgot to post about my experience with my Memere last Sunday. I brought her into Victoria's Secret. I actually didn't buy anything in there, since their bras are $40, which..lemme tell ya..I've never paid $40 for anything that goes underneath clothing, much less anything else.. I rarely spend more than like $20 for shoes..

anyway, this experience was Memere's first introduction to the world of "the thong" of which she commented on in her distinctly French-Canadian accent:

(i like ordered lists today, sue me)
a) "I don't know Kristen, I think this would get caught in my rectum"(memere proceeds to laugh hysterically)

b)" I could make this out of one of my hankerchiefs" (I proceed to laugh hysterically)

oh, such wise words from an 80- year old woman. We thank you Meme'

lovely and beautiful

hmm, very interesting. today, i won a free cd from http://elvis.lycos.com. When Elvis and Lycos collaborated, I'm not certain, but I was like.."cool, free cd." Below is an excerpt of some of the artists I had to choose from:

Foghat
Lita Ford's (greatest hits, no less)
Meatloaf (bat out of hell)
.38 special
Helloween
Dionne Warwick
The Youngbloods
The Guess Who
Pink-Mizaundastood
The Alan Parson's Project (all)
"Bad Boys" of Hip-Hop (comp.)
Elvis (Blue Hawaii)
Motorhead (greatist hits)

Just a reminder to you all. When they say "free" it's for a reason. Luckily, i found an old Sam Cooke CD. Only redeemable one on the entire list.

bleah, i hate being a grown up. i hate bills. i hate paying them and thinking i'm caught up to see that there's a new balance (not the sneaker), i hate calculating my debt, re-calculating my debt consolidation. i hate the fact that i'm in the "high-risk" and that approximately only 23% of Americans have worse credit than me. i hate that i even know that and that there's a specific applet designed to figure that out and thus depress me to infinity. i hate that i can't enjoy summertime anymore because i'm always working and i can't even inflate my ghetto target pool with any measure of success. in fact, it looked like a flattened donut made out of pvc.

i hate that i am supposedly the successful one in my family bc both my brothers are still living at home and that my parents want to buy them a house, while i struggle to have a semi-quality of life but i can't bc i'm always worried about money. okay, that's enough.. i just fucking hate it..i don't want to be an adult anymore. i want to go back to the womb. at least i didnt have to pay for heat there.

post-p-town affective disorder

k, so realizing that my last entry dates back to the sinking of the titanic, in dev's words, i thought it fitting that i share something crappy with y'all, as usual.

yesterday, i visited p-town with my two best friends. yes, i have two. we are best friends. we are like an unholy trinity. we are coming to your town soon.

i was the web bitch who found us a hotel room last minute, since all were completely booked. i thought my find was pretty saavy too. except that i had forgotten by some stroke of add that "twin" beds are roughly the size of my brothers' childhood bunk beds from "this end up"..btw, that store sucked and i'm glad they arent around anymore. i mean, i really hate wood. leave it on the tree and give my some synthetic, poly-carbonate vinyl eurethene anyday.

moving on..

so divide my brother's bunk by two (these things were tiny) and times by two and you have two really tiny beds for 3 ppl, add overcast skies and an overpriced piece of lettuce and tomato and spank me! needless to say, yesterday really bit!

i do like p-town quite a bit. we saw jimmy james. he's a legendary "vocal impressionist" who like impersonates divas and has diva makeup but he's not in drag..i dunno, i told you not to ask!

i hope i am in a better mood tomorrow. i think i just needed down time to myself, a nice, down-home soy-based meal, and an actual pillow. i forgot to mention that i gladly offered to sleep on the floor. not a problem for me.. i camped for 32 nights once..often with no running water...but for some reason, my pillow kept slipping out from under me. i mean, nothing seemed to go right. not even my digestive system.

in other news, richard marx wrote that metal chic band- vixen's one and only hit, my cat likes to shower with me, my ex and his roommate used to call that soapdish squeegy thing "the dude" and i just cleaned out my closet like Eminem.

No wind when I took the watch
My ship was still and waitin'
I lay on that mirrored sky
A restless sail or waitin'
I closed my eyes said the
Words of will for the gentle
Breathin' that moves the seas
Make my sails fill

Whisper waves cloud the glass
Awake at last like a lover
It rushed around the talkin' sweet
Roll over, roll over, roll over
And in my ear he blew his name
It sound so strange but I heard it plain
Mistral Mistral wind ......here's the part where the drums, guitar and euphoria kick in......

I have always held the wheel but
I let the wind steal my power
Spin me 'round lose my course
Nights run be like hours
Well, it would show me the way
To the deepest mountains
Too high and beautiful to be
Mistral, mistral wind

All the hours on the watch
I wait for that breeze to move me
And blow me back to that place
Magic space all through me
And I sigh your name
Across the empty water
You made a crazy dreamer out of me
Mistral, mistral, mistral, mistral,
Mistral, mistral

-Heart, Mistral Win

You know you definitely have issues when you get the following response from the tech support person who you now know on a first-name basis:

Hello
Kristen; That will be fine.
I hope the new software works for you.

God Bless
Betty

bg
File links

also, i've been using that Colgate "whitening" crap. I mean, what exactly do they put in there, because the stuff really works.

i really hate being at work today. my now "bad" arm is throbbing and it's making me feel so damn old wearing this splint thingy. they had a complimentary ice cream bar upstairs today for the "fill in the blank" may-june birthdays. i feel so celebrated, especially since my birthday was like almost two months ago. those office gathering things are always so awkward too..they kind of amuse me now..everyone trying desperately to avoid those awkward pauses..the kind where you indefinitely end up looking at your co-workers feet and your stomach gurgles by accident...

also, in other news, my cat is better than yours!

yes, i am back from the island. when's my next day off? good lord, i want to go back...so so bad. bermudians are quite honestly the friendliest bunch of people ive ever met..i mean to have someone just casually say hi to you on the street or offer you their seat on the bus..never happens in my world. it was quite refreshing, not to mention crystal blue waters (not crystal waters, though I like her too) and pink coral sand. *sigh* and there were other amenities that i will mention later ;) actually, i'll post my pics soon as i re-eff up my cd burner..it is proverbially effed..uh huh.

anyway..i saw some guava trees. there's a first time for everything. this trip was a lot of firsts and i'm so glad for it.

also, do i really care about paul mccartney's wedding? i mean, great for the guy, moving on and what not, but i dont care to be barraged with attendants pics like ringo *who, btw, played at the ice rink recently, in my home town*. ..

i'll leave you with the lastest by devon..i liked it. he thinks he'll lay low for a while..maybe you have to be a slight jaded to appreciate. good thing i'm not.


Dev's Boozification Roundup


Ok, its 6 am and I have been drinking Jed's Hard Lemonade all night, so
I
thought I'd pass on this hilarious thing I wrote last month. Have fun.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--------------------------------------------------------------
The past few years have seen a new proliferation on the market of new
and
exciting 'Malt beverages.' Some of them are quite good. Some of
them...are
not.

In the interest of consumer service, (I swear to god that's all), I've
gone
ahead and tried a bunch of these, so that I can share the results with
the
people I love most.

(Yes, and you people too, I suppose.)

Woody's Ice Blueberry: Ahhh, remember the taste of chewable St.
Joseph's
aspirin when you were a child? Woody's has gone and captured the magic
of
this flavor, and made it into a pale-blue alchoholic beverage. Bravo!
Rumors
that Woody's next product will contain the flavor of bubblegum
penecillian
are, at the moment, unsubstantiated. Perhaps they can also make a more
'mature' version that tastes like chalky mint paste, complete with a
wooden
ruler with which to stir it.

Woodchuck Pear Cider: The fine people of Woodchuck realize that we may
be
tiring of ciders that taste like apple. So they've gone ahead and
created a
cider that tastes like...ASS. Magnifique!

Twisted Tea: Amazingly, this actually does taste just like iced tea.
And like
iced tea, it will not provide you with any kind of alchoholic buzz
whatsoever, despite its claim of being 5% alchoholic. I'm reminded of
what
Mickey Mouse said in the Sorcerer's Apprentice: 'Oh fuck-too much
water!'
This is just the beverage for those who are driving and wish to stay
sober.

Zima Citrus: It is, by now, a well known fact that Zima tastes like
dish
water. Zima Citrus tastes like dishwater, with a hint of lemon/lime
flavour.
Just the thing for when you have company over, and wish for them to
take the
fuckin hint and go home early. There is also a rumor that you can use
it to
clean the connectors on your car's battery, but I have not tried this.

(Yet.)

Mike's Lemonade/Smirnoff Ice: These two are absolutly identical in
every way.
Same color, same taste, and same excruciating heartburn on the way
down. I
mean come on guys, do you pour battery acid into the mix here or what?
Kinda
like swallowing toothpaste. (I drank soap too, once, when I was a
little kid.
Ask my brother and sister; the results were explosive.)


Bacardi Silver: This is a fate worse than death. I really never thought
anyone would create something that made Zima look like a manly-man's
drink.
This stuff is so light and fruity, you should only drink it when
wearing a
pair of mint-green bikini briefs and a big pink scarf. Jesus Christ.

Captain Morgan Gold: ARrrrrrr!! It's Th' Cap-tin! And he's brung us
landlubbers a foin foin beverage, resembling flat whatery cola with a
maple
syrup after-teeste! Arrrrrr!

Skyy Blue: Twice in my adult life, I have had to be carried to bed,
after a
lengthy round of vomiting. Both of these were the result of drinking
vodka,
otherwise known as 'The Piss of the Devil.' When I saw a vodka-based
'malt
beverage' on the market, I initially gagged, but eventually I was
suckered in
by the pretty blue bottles that it comes in. And do you know what?

This shit isn't bad.

It has a flavor reminiscent of the 2 Dogs Lemon stuff that I can never
find
anymore. And, you get these pretty blue bottles too, which you can
perhaps
use to decorate your window sills. Just keep drinking and staring at
those
pretty blue bottles. Everything will be ok.
Blue...pretty....oooooooohhhhhhh.......

(By the way, what the hell is a 'sill'? What a strange god damn word.)



So there you have it. And remember-when all else fails, just get a
fuckin
Guiness

two days ago i had a dream that i got to see "J-lo" live, washed her underwear, and she gave me a "J-lo" business card--how WEAK IS THAT!?!?

:i never use this computer. you can just give me any ol' piece of crap: was what just came out of my cube-cell block neighbors mouth. he and i are in fact, two of the few that are spared the torturous humiliation of having our cubes "downsized"..yes, it's true..over the 82 degree weekend, a whole gaggle of highly paid "efficiency experts" are coming in to squish people cubes. there is no hope for this world. not after that. now i'm getting catty looks for people..hey, i didn't do it! by now fault of my own, i am now somehow the "cube bourgeoisie."

ironically, my cubey neighbor looks, acts and speaks (mono-tone) like milton from office space. he is effing Milton to a T! scar-e.

K, can we just discuss the fact that "J-lo" studied Tao Kwon Doe for that piece of trash :Enough: yet refused to cut her hair. How feminist, J-lo..thanks a lot for representin'. No-talent Moron.

I am more like Seamore. I take that back. I get along with about 99.9% of the population, roughly. Maybe 98.9%. I am in one of those well-rested slumps. You know, those phases where you've actually caught up on sleep, but are still over-tired and like..stoopid.

That said, I am not complaining. More like, a moment of weakness. At these times, I find myself really getting into the plot outlines of Ja-ruh videos, desires to see 8 Mile and Enough. Wtf is wrong with me? I just huffed the opiate-exhaust of the masses or something..I think it's called sleep, but it might also be called yep, "television.

monday:
spent entire day on beach with colby playing with mud, snails, crabs and sea worms (but i have no pics of that bc my battery died, just colby clean up)

sunday: went to human rights conference hosted by Observer who just got back from Israel (info in car right now). was blown away.
1
2

saturday: found these before going to patti smith: 1, 2

found these during:
1
2
3
4
the tree looks like the crucifixion to me. i found it like a month ago, but just found it again. what do you think it looks like?

watched ghost world with heather. discovered i am enid. thought of creative ways to tell my roommate her penis fell out of the freezer and was now three pieces.

friday: had cool time with heath in central square than overcomplicated meeting with friends that wasn't worth the trouble

I cradle minou in my arms infant style. We slowly walk outside together towards the field. The air is cool. I’m glad to be away from the party. It was stifling. The first dog attacks me. Pitbull. He clamps onto my forearm like a vice-grip. I'm struggling to not drop Minou. I'm doing so willfully, but unsuccessfully. My mind foreshadow's me dropping him and a dog eating him. The party sucked. I arrived in a box giving a backrub. My recipient is now gone. Common. Now, some woman with a fancyish jacket is hitting on me too aggressively. She shows me the inner-lining of her coat. She's aquarius. It says so. She's a lot older than me.

I purvey the field. It's all teenagers and their pitbulls and Ted Koppel's in the corner. One jumps for me, I yell assertively like the poster at the campsite says to do if a moutain lion attacks me. One dog backs off and runs away. My heart is fluttering. Then I see him. His fur is all white and his teeth are already under my skin. I see the lump under my sweater on my forearm. If my skin were the sweater, he's like flesh-eating bacteria. I spot his owners. I yell to them "please, your dog is biting me! Make him stop." In slow motion, they each look down at the harnessed air. The dog broke off the harness and it's lying empty on the grass. Minou is struggling to break free. They are all biting the air.

I never get the full-on spinal backrub I want from people. Selfish, maybe, but the kind i give tend to be deep-tissue whereas the kind i get generally feel like someone is dialing a local number from my back.
is dialing a local number from my back.

I found out today, for the first time in my life, that my Nana from Uruguay's middle name is Damasilda. My dad never knew either. It was my parents anniversary today. i brought them to the north end and mr. bruno, this little old italian man in a suit, showed us a good place. then we saw this 1940's car with two men blaring italian music. it was really quite awesome, albeit very cliche. i love them. i didnt always. often, my mother will ask questions of me that she already has the answers to just to fill the space. it makes me uncomfortable, but i know it's her way of making sense of her daughter..who's really nothing like her. somehow, it works. it didnt always.

coming back, everyone was out. i sat next to this teenager playing guitar. it was great. i miss teaching. i miss kids. at least they're real. the people at this job are far from real, but they don't know it yet. they swear on cue and talk in "drama class" voices and they make me angrier than i would like them to. it's just more insecurity stuff. and i'm the weird, streaked-haired girl at the black-tie party and that's ok. i've become quite comfortable with it. but i digress..

i'm really looking forward to having some downtime. i love spending time alone. some of my friends do not, but it works out. i have my new (refirb) router so by sunday, my house may just be networked. i'm told by nessie to coat the cables with tinfoil.


"You must have chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star."—Friedrich Nietzsche

I've attempted to curb my moodiness by keeping the following thoughts in mind:
i'm going on vacation next week, wanting to buy more clothes is a luxury problem, putting out a cigarette can fire with your morning coffee is a nice gesture (even if it's at the police station), having your good friend coin you the "butt-girl" is even more ironic, accepting your friends for who/what they are is important, allowing yourself to give up on a nearly irreparable server issue, grapes are good ..and so are mandarin oranges

I posted this on a friend's site, but if you get a chance, this is effing hilarious:

http://www.thereverend.com/brick_testament/


and another web-site poking fun at Christians..I'm sorry man, but they are such easy targets.

http://landoverbaptist.org/

The following is the enlightened email I received from MSN in response to my inquiry. You've got to me kiddin' my ass:


Hello krizzlebayy,


Thank you for taking time to write us at MSN.com.

We apologize for the inconvenience having you to send us your email
again. Please re-phrase your question and provide us with additional
information about your inquiry. We need this data so we may effectively
address your concern. Once it has been provided, we will be glad to give
you further assistance.

Thank you for your patience. Hope to hear from you soon.


Sincerely,

Bernice
MSN.com Customer Support

Rachel got a slightly less "playing dumb" response. Also, what is the comment about "Hope to hear from you soon"..are me and Bernice like old friends? Did i used to sip martinis with Bill Gates in the valley? NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

I found this pic on msn.com. It was sort of one of those things where I kept going back to the page (because it was set as my default until yesterday) but wasn't seeing how effed up this pic was..then it hit me...I told my co-worker Scott and my roommate and we all wrote letters to MSN.





Scott wrote:
"Don't you think the model on the homepage "Wall Street Wages graphic" (5/20/02) graphic needs to eat something. Sugarless gum is not a meal.

Please don't use graphics of sickly models.


I wrote:

"Is your ad in regards to "Wall Street Wagers" or the anorexia epidemic? Just curious."

and you can see Rach's letter on her site.

Yea..not in the greatest of moods in the last few days or so. I dunno what it is..i really don't..i think it's probably a few things a) me, being melodramatic b) spending too much time thinking about one particular person, place or thing c) this ugly plant in here d) not my financial sitch this time (so that is a good thing). Party was cool, somewhat mellow. I think Janga must of rented a carvan or something bc she arrived with like 10 ppl who were all really cool..Toad and (Chris, I think) helped us move out the dead washing machine. Larry bought me three awesome CD's..cheap trik, prince and NERD..Dave , who I havent seen for like almost 2 years..hugged me like 5 times which more than made up for lost time. Miss that boy. So…on my evite I put that ppl should used the Live Fresh killed chickens sign as a landmark…well, now they can add "Rabbit" to that…ah yes, a new species addition at that place. I found out when I walked by on Saturday…

In other news, my friend dave just got arrested for an action in san Francisco if you can hear me Dave..love you and miss you.

In other news, I saw star wars Episode II on Friday..i thought it was so cool…but now all these publishing dorks are like "oh, I heard it got bad reviews…so now I realize how annoying it sounds when I say that w/o having seen the actual movie…plus, I doubt the Metro is a credible source of movie info..judging from the fact that most of their articles are about gay sperm whales from australia. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh right, this review was pretty kewl..it's from Devon..and he's a tad touched like moi

Needing sleep.party was awesome. Angelique Kidjo was awesome..I am soooo tired..Will be posting more tomo.Need sleep....zzzzzzzzzz

This is a copy of my submission to IMDB after watching that piece of trash called 13 ghosts

Okay, I might be completely mistaken here, but are we in the year 2002, or not? This film started out as what seemed like a well-done remake of the 1960 original, 13 Ghosts, but it's appeal was shortly squelched as the film-makers introduced Rah Digga's stereotypical character, "Maggie"--with no coincidence on the name, here. Digga plays an annoying, dumb, modern-day house mammy who's only contribution to the film is cooking and making slang quips about "breaking nails" as the cast tries to escape ghosts. This, while her white, female counterpart is masking diabolical plans, re-routing the rest of the cast throughout the house using her sacred book, kicking ghost ass, etc. Okay people..are you kidding me, here? Is this all Hollywood has to offer in terms of roles for Black females? The producers of this film can offer up fancy cinematography, good scripts for the white cast, yet their script for the sole, black female reads more like a Nineteenth Century black minstrel show.

I just wish these idiots in Hollywood would have a tad more integrity (yea, what was I thinking?) and stop creating roles that make African-Americans look and sound like complete idiots.

Stage Diving to Song Song Blue.. Last night, my love for...........

Neil Diamond was re-kindled (If you don't know who Neil Diamond is, you shouldn't be reading this). I thought my days of lauding the almighty crooner were over, but instead a new, Neil dimension was introduced to me. This, from a girl who cried watching the Jazz Singer. *sniffle*

Yes, it's true, I had the pleasure of bearing witness to the Super Diamond experience. This is one group that excels at dusting off ol' Neils 3-chord gems (not including those on his lapel) and infusing them with new life.

Their set list spanned the globe of Neil's contributions to the music world. From selections like Red Red Wine (which I always thought was UB40, but every one has to cop from Neil, even that one hit wonder Urge Overkill)-- to a punked-out version of Cracklin Rosie, which by the way..what the hell is a Cracklin Rosie?

They brought the room down a notch for Love on the Rocks, my personal Favorite than amped us up again with Song Song Blue. We didn't hear You don't bring me Flowers..probably cuz Babs owns the rights now. Bitch.

Musically, this band paralled if not excelled Neil's current ensemble, Diamondville. I was equally impressed with all of the band members, from the Sultry singer to the amazing dual, keyboard players! They had a passion for Neil that can not be overstated. Neil himself said so when he shared the stage with them at the House of Blues in Hollywood California. K, i dunno if he uttered those exact words, but ..SD met Neil and Cheap Trick..damn, that would be an awesome headlining tour..

So, if you ever have to endure the contempt that comes with being a Neil fan, just remember that his music endures. That or just flick them off and yell "I AM I SAID, m*TH*R*UCK*R!!!!



I hope to see them again soon.