two days ago i had a dream that i got to see "J-lo" live, washed her underwear, and she gave me a "J-lo" business card--how WEAK IS THAT!?!?

:i never use this computer. you can just give me any ol' piece of crap: was what just came out of my cube-cell block neighbors mouth. he and i are in fact, two of the few that are spared the torturous humiliation of having our cubes "downsized"..yes, it's true..over the 82 degree weekend, a whole gaggle of highly paid "efficiency experts" are coming in to squish people cubes. there is no hope for this world. not after that. now i'm getting catty looks for people..hey, i didn't do it! by now fault of my own, i am now somehow the "cube bourgeoisie."

ironically, my cubey neighbor looks, acts and speaks (mono-tone) like milton from office space. he is effing Milton to a T! scar-e.

K, can we just discuss the fact that "J-lo" studied Tao Kwon Doe for that piece of trash :Enough: yet refused to cut her hair. How feminist, J-lo..thanks a lot for representin'. No-talent Moron.

I am more like Seamore. I take that back. I get along with about 99.9% of the population, roughly. Maybe 98.9%. I am in one of those well-rested slumps. You know, those phases where you've actually caught up on sleep, but are still over-tired and like..stoopid.

That said, I am not complaining. More like, a moment of weakness. At these times, I find myself really getting into the plot outlines of Ja-ruh videos, desires to see 8 Mile and Enough. Wtf is wrong with me? I just huffed the opiate-exhaust of the masses or something..I think it's called sleep, but it might also be called yep, "television.

monday:
spent entire day on beach with colby playing with mud, snails, crabs and sea worms (but i have no pics of that bc my battery died, just colby clean up)

sunday: went to human rights conference hosted by Observer who just got back from Israel (info in car right now). was blown away.
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saturday: found these before going to patti smith: 1, 2

found these during:
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the tree looks like the crucifixion to me. i found it like a month ago, but just found it again. what do you think it looks like?

watched ghost world with heather. discovered i am enid. thought of creative ways to tell my roommate her penis fell out of the freezer and was now three pieces.

friday: had cool time with heath in central square than overcomplicated meeting with friends that wasn't worth the trouble

I cradle minou in my arms infant style. We slowly walk outside together towards the field. The air is cool. I’m glad to be away from the party. It was stifling. The first dog attacks me. Pitbull. He clamps onto my forearm like a vice-grip. I'm struggling to not drop Minou. I'm doing so willfully, but unsuccessfully. My mind foreshadow's me dropping him and a dog eating him. The party sucked. I arrived in a box giving a backrub. My recipient is now gone. Common. Now, some woman with a fancyish jacket is hitting on me too aggressively. She shows me the inner-lining of her coat. She's aquarius. It says so. She's a lot older than me.

I purvey the field. It's all teenagers and their pitbulls and Ted Koppel's in the corner. One jumps for me, I yell assertively like the poster at the campsite says to do if a moutain lion attacks me. One dog backs off and runs away. My heart is fluttering. Then I see him. His fur is all white and his teeth are already under my skin. I see the lump under my sweater on my forearm. If my skin were the sweater, he's like flesh-eating bacteria. I spot his owners. I yell to them "please, your dog is biting me! Make him stop." In slow motion, they each look down at the harnessed air. The dog broke off the harness and it's lying empty on the grass. Minou is struggling to break free. They are all biting the air.

I never get the full-on spinal backrub I want from people. Selfish, maybe, but the kind i give tend to be deep-tissue whereas the kind i get generally feel like someone is dialing a local number from my back.
is dialing a local number from my back.

I found out today, for the first time in my life, that my Nana from Uruguay's middle name is Damasilda. My dad never knew either. It was my parents anniversary today. i brought them to the north end and mr. bruno, this little old italian man in a suit, showed us a good place. then we saw this 1940's car with two men blaring italian music. it was really quite awesome, albeit very cliche. i love them. i didnt always. often, my mother will ask questions of me that she already has the answers to just to fill the space. it makes me uncomfortable, but i know it's her way of making sense of her daughter..who's really nothing like her. somehow, it works. it didnt always.

coming back, everyone was out. i sat next to this teenager playing guitar. it was great. i miss teaching. i miss kids. at least they're real. the people at this job are far from real, but they don't know it yet. they swear on cue and talk in "drama class" voices and they make me angrier than i would like them to. it's just more insecurity stuff. and i'm the weird, streaked-haired girl at the black-tie party and that's ok. i've become quite comfortable with it. but i digress..

i'm really looking forward to having some downtime. i love spending time alone. some of my friends do not, but it works out. i have my new (refirb) router so by sunday, my house may just be networked. i'm told by nessie to coat the cables with tinfoil.


"You must have chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star."—Friedrich Nietzsche

I've attempted to curb my moodiness by keeping the following thoughts in mind:
i'm going on vacation next week, wanting to buy more clothes is a luxury problem, putting out a cigarette can fire with your morning coffee is a nice gesture (even if it's at the police station), having your good friend coin you the "butt-girl" is even more ironic, accepting your friends for who/what they are is important, allowing yourself to give up on a nearly irreparable server issue, grapes are good ..and so are mandarin oranges

I posted this on a friend's site, but if you get a chance, this is effing hilarious:

http://www.thereverend.com/brick_testament/


and another web-site poking fun at Christians..I'm sorry man, but they are such easy targets.

http://landoverbaptist.org/

The following is the enlightened email I received from MSN in response to my inquiry. You've got to me kiddin' my ass:


Hello krizzlebayy,


Thank you for taking time to write us at MSN.com.

We apologize for the inconvenience having you to send us your email
again. Please re-phrase your question and provide us with additional
information about your inquiry. We need this data so we may effectively
address your concern. Once it has been provided, we will be glad to give
you further assistance.

Thank you for your patience. Hope to hear from you soon.


Sincerely,

Bernice
MSN.com Customer Support

Rachel got a slightly less "playing dumb" response. Also, what is the comment about "Hope to hear from you soon"..are me and Bernice like old friends? Did i used to sip martinis with Bill Gates in the valley? NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

I found this pic on msn.com. It was sort of one of those things where I kept going back to the page (because it was set as my default until yesterday) but wasn't seeing how effed up this pic was..then it hit me...I told my co-worker Scott and my roommate and we all wrote letters to MSN.





Scott wrote:
"Don't you think the model on the homepage "Wall Street Wages graphic" (5/20/02) graphic needs to eat something. Sugarless gum is not a meal.

Please don't use graphics of sickly models.


I wrote:

"Is your ad in regards to "Wall Street Wagers" or the anorexia epidemic? Just curious."

and you can see Rach's letter on her site.

Yea..not in the greatest of moods in the last few days or so. I dunno what it is..i really don't..i think it's probably a few things a) me, being melodramatic b) spending too much time thinking about one particular person, place or thing c) this ugly plant in here d) not my financial sitch this time (so that is a good thing). Party was cool, somewhat mellow. I think Janga must of rented a carvan or something bc she arrived with like 10 ppl who were all really cool..Toad and (Chris, I think) helped us move out the dead washing machine. Larry bought me three awesome CD's..cheap trik, prince and NERD..Dave , who I havent seen for like almost 2 years..hugged me like 5 times which more than made up for lost time. Miss that boy. So…on my evite I put that ppl should used the Live Fresh killed chickens sign as a landmark…well, now they can add "Rabbit" to that…ah yes, a new species addition at that place. I found out when I walked by on Saturday…

In other news, my friend dave just got arrested for an action in san Francisco if you can hear me Dave..love you and miss you.

In other news, I saw star wars Episode II on Friday..i thought it was so cool…but now all these publishing dorks are like "oh, I heard it got bad reviews…so now I realize how annoying it sounds when I say that w/o having seen the actual movie…plus, I doubt the Metro is a credible source of movie info..judging from the fact that most of their articles are about gay sperm whales from australia. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh right, this review was pretty kewl..it's from Devon..and he's a tad touched like moi

Needing sleep.party was awesome. Angelique Kidjo was awesome..I am soooo tired..Will be posting more tomo.Need sleep....zzzzzzzzzz

This is a copy of my submission to IMDB after watching that piece of trash called 13 ghosts

Okay, I might be completely mistaken here, but are we in the year 2002, or not? This film started out as what seemed like a well-done remake of the 1960 original, 13 Ghosts, but it's appeal was shortly squelched as the film-makers introduced Rah Digga's stereotypical character, "Maggie"--with no coincidence on the name, here. Digga plays an annoying, dumb, modern-day house mammy who's only contribution to the film is cooking and making slang quips about "breaking nails" as the cast tries to escape ghosts. This, while her white, female counterpart is masking diabolical plans, re-routing the rest of the cast throughout the house using her sacred book, kicking ghost ass, etc. Okay people..are you kidding me, here? Is this all Hollywood has to offer in terms of roles for Black females? The producers of this film can offer up fancy cinematography, good scripts for the white cast, yet their script for the sole, black female reads more like a Nineteenth Century black minstrel show.

I just wish these idiots in Hollywood would have a tad more integrity (yea, what was I thinking?) and stop creating roles that make African-Americans look and sound like complete idiots.

Stage Diving to Song Song Blue.. Last night, my love for...........

Neil Diamond was re-kindled (If you don't know who Neil Diamond is, you shouldn't be reading this). I thought my days of lauding the almighty crooner were over, but instead a new, Neil dimension was introduced to me. This, from a girl who cried watching the Jazz Singer. *sniffle*

Yes, it's true, I had the pleasure of bearing witness to the Super Diamond experience. This is one group that excels at dusting off ol' Neils 3-chord gems (not including those on his lapel) and infusing them with new life.

Their set list spanned the globe of Neil's contributions to the music world. From selections like Red Red Wine (which I always thought was UB40, but every one has to cop from Neil, even that one hit wonder Urge Overkill)-- to a punked-out version of Cracklin Rosie, which by the way..what the hell is a Cracklin Rosie?

They brought the room down a notch for Love on the Rocks, my personal Favorite than amped us up again with Song Song Blue. We didn't hear You don't bring me Flowers..probably cuz Babs owns the rights now. Bitch.

Musically, this band paralled if not excelled Neil's current ensemble, Diamondville. I was equally impressed with all of the band members, from the Sultry singer to the amazing dual, keyboard players! They had a passion for Neil that can not be overstated. Neil himself said so when he shared the stage with them at the House of Blues in Hollywood California. K, i dunno if he uttered those exact words, but ..SD met Neil and Cheap Trick..damn, that would be an awesome headlining tour..

So, if you ever have to endure the contempt that comes with being a Neil fan, just remember that his music endures. That or just flick them off and yell "I AM I SAID, m*TH*R*UCK*R!!!!



I hope to see them again soon.