ah, work is so slow. i'm basking in it. i've take advantage of my free time by updating my client's sites, creating a dedication, figuring out how i'm going to pull off my halloween costume, contemplating how annoying my glimpse of the oprah show was today, reading the Artist's way, organizing my applications, paying my student loan, listening to the ambulance diesel engine outside the office window, drinking generic fizzy, flavored stuff...waiting..

yep. I'm a Type-A personality i think. also, i believe my tooth filling is falling out. i felt weird bits of a stony consistency in my mouth during kill bill-felt like i was munching on sand ..and now my grapeseeds are kinda getting caught in this newly available casm in my mouth and it's weird.

and i'm sad about the fires in san diego county. it feels like i just missed it by a few days. i feel horrible for all those displaced folks. i find it surreal how the media is of course focusing on celebrity reactions to the fires and all they can muster up is something like "yea, it's horrible."

i guess i need to rent charlie's angels 2. though i thought it was a deplorably boring and over-the-top movie, though i loved the dylan-as-bowie-like glam chick. her make-up was fierce, so i'd like to get some ideas in my head before i start globbing it on my face.

oh yea, back to the oprah thing. she had some dumb show today about the "angels" line at victoria secret. i've got no qualms at all with lingerie or anything like that, except it's like..here's this full-figured black woman appropriating the "skinny white ideal" and i find it rather lame, particularly since she's certainly not in any dire need for endorsements and she's presented a body-positive attitude in the past. maybe it's O's pressure, but fuck that..there's no excuse. it's like.here let endorse and laud under-fed models one day, than the next do an intimate segment on eating disorders in teenage girls..not cool.

in that same vein, i'm def. disappointed in Dr. Phil for originally appearing genuine about helping people, then jumping on the billion-dollar-diet-industry band wagon. EVIL.

i had this incredible dream about myself and it contained so much material about my life that i can't get into detail here, but one of the very last scenes was me looking at my Rosie-the-riveter type arm..defined and gleaming in the mirror! I've been reveiwing it all week..IT RAWKED. My therapist had a lot to say about it too..incl. that i am celebrating my strength, and not so much concerned with proving anything to anyone else. I do love her.

I got a wicked nice suggestion from this 1st year resident chica at my women's group the other day. She said "do the self-dates..they're yummy" referring to the Artist's way. She had just done a like 50 hour shift too, but then livened up to hi-fi me. It was awesome. Then Elaine, my buddy from way back hugged me and complimented my orangey-bangs. It felt good having gotten weird looks from mostly everyone I come in contact with around here. Then she emailed me to tell me how much i've grown and that she loves me..it was awesome.

Still no calls here...so excited.

So tomorrow, I'll be psyched to sleep some, go buy some costume stuff and hopefully see a movie or something..

I should preserve my arm here, in case i DO get a call.

oh well..

i've decided that maybe i should find me a respectable vampire or something..

cuz the stark class differences in cambridge really annoy me. Monday night i went to the Phoneix for reggae night. The rain made it slow at first, but the first DJ was fierce. Then two other guys came on deck, but I was mostly outside for that waiting on Mary. While I was waiting, I was talking to this 19 year old girl from Roxbury who couldn't get into the club (she stayed outside the whole night. She said, "I hate Cambridge." I was like "do you like Somerville?" to which she replied "No, I like Dorchester, Roxbury..Ashmont..those types of places." Mary heard that segment of the conversation. The girl and I were facing the street and Mary was facing us and the club. Just as said girl was proclaiming her distaste for Cambridge, one of those high-mounted tricyclists rode by. When we finally got back in the club, there were two of the whitest-looking Rude Boys I had ever seen on stage. I mean, it's one thing to appreciate a culture, but to feign a fake accent/patois to do so is rather...um...ODD? I mean, the two looked like they were from Brookline or something and even more annoying was that they kept interrupting these small, snippets of great reggae songs to give a loud "shout-out" and then abruptly change the song. They started to sound like a boot-leg MP3 that one mistakenly downloads instead of the original track and then realizes some amateaur dj has ruined it with esoteric shout-outs. Yea.

I think I'll check out Man Rey this weekend, maybe a party or two. I'm just kinda spent on the whole mentally-ill strangers interrupting my conversations thing (that happened at least 5 times at Someday cafe last night-no joke.) Actually , I think there's like 5 group homes in the area or something which might explain some of that, but I think it's more that Romney sucks and keep cutting Mental health services and now wants to cut Special Needs. So interesting that the platform he ran on was the reclaiming "the disruptive child" in the classroom. I want to do a documentary of all the jaded, overworked teachers in the State and see how they feel about that.

But i digress...and possibly proselytize...