tonight was reminiscent of several years ago that i tried to find myself in nature on newfound lake (no pun, seriously) at the Audubon society. i rented a canoe (by myself). i suppose the native americans didn't really invent canoes for loner-types like me, but always one to test a hypothesis, off i went.
let's just say, i was out there so long fighting riptides that the director of the center sent out two hikers to make sure i wasn't dead. every other minute it seemed some jackass would zoom by me on a jet ski or a huge, fucking yacht with some skinny, blonde chick tanning while i paddled my way into complete and utter frustration. but, out of necessity is born ..well, something, because i somehow got back to the dock..somehow.still not sure how, i just i remember sticking to the rocks and inching along.
this memory, of course, did not cross my mind when jivanna asked to go out in the canoe and i quickly volunteered my ginger-from-gilligan's-island services. i sort of fell into the canoe..as opposed to sitting in it, tried to stand up, felt it start tipping, sat down again..etc. This went on for a good five minutes. And Janga, noticing my struggle threw in one life jacket, which probably wouldn't even have fit my boobs, but i'm sure she figured that the10 year old would be more adept at saving her own life than the 30 year old, so why throw in two life jackets..yea, i think that was it. sad. really sad.
yea, canoes and me = not good.
give me something with torque, an engine..ya know. i jet skied once in Florida near shaq's house amongst alligators. i know it's not eco-friendly but all i ask for is a way to escape the torture of my own awkwardness when it comes to one of these things. i break stuff. .i can't paddle all that well and i usually tip the thing over. but somehow, i still have fun. maybe i like to challenge myself. or i'm just really used to total chaos.
such was the case with me and jivanna..a very intelligent, beautiful and amazing 10 year old. i think maybe i would like a child ..but to skip to age 10. i know 3 really amazing 10 year olds and she is one of them. i mean, she's smart enough to get it, but not too smart to totally get it..and yet, the angst has not set in. everything is still an adventure, even getting caught in a foamy frappe of green birdshit and boat fuel, which is exactly what happened. and it was totally hilarious. and sometimes it feels good to just go ahead, embrace life, and be willing to make a complete ass of yourself in the process. i know i sound like a trailer for a coming of age movie or an after-school special, but it's true!
jivanna was highly entertained at my complete ineptitude and the fact that i was dripping green, foamy birdshit on myself every time i had to switch hands with the paddle. i honestly don't know how the hell i survived 30 days in a VW bus cross-country, except that i do recall kevin kendall telling me i was like ginger from gilligan's island--in northern california's bear-country, a clove cigarette in one hand and an iron skillet in the other. i had never, ever, ever slept in a tent until that time in 1999. my parents were not outdoor, woodsy types. i tried skiing in my backyard once and did an involuntary split. i borrowed my brother's skateboard and hit a rock and went flying. then one time at nick maroun's , my brother insisted i get on the back of nick's four-wheeler. i obliged and without notifying me that he was about to zoom off, my brother jammed on the accelerator. i went flying backwards and i slammed my head on the cement. i stood up, picked up my pink headband, said, "i'm fine"..and walked home with a HUGE lump on my head, crying. another time, i was outside my pepere's playing and some kid, aiming at a tree with his lawn dart, accidentally got my head instead. my memere came out and told him to "fuck off" (first time i ever heard her swear). i walked into the house with a yellow dart protruding from my head, looked in the mirror and yanked it out like nothing had ever happened.
another time, i went to do a cannonball off my aunt's diving board and i didn't give myself enough distance and landed back on the diving board, hitting my knee. i remember hoping the knee injury would cause me to just drown because i was too embarrassed to come back up for air.
but on my cross-country trip, some sort of strange, survival instinct must have kicked in. find firewood, check. swim naked in a man-made reservoir in Nebraska, check. skin an alligator with my bear hands, check. okay, i wore a bathing suit. But looking back, even with the other foibles, that instinct was always there. i sort of just dust myself off and get back on the proverbial bull.
i should have prefaced this blog by saying that my mission was to help janga and kateri move a bunny hutch. i wasn't even sure what that was until i saw this damn thing. this was the most ginormous, freaking, bunny condominium i have ever seen in my life. it literally took 6 of us to move it and not easily (curses for not getting a photo). that was with the legs sawed off and without the stairs..yes, the goddamn thing had stairs on it. maybe like 5 feet wide with heating lamps and sliding windows..sort of like mini-bunny newpro windows. I was hoping Lady Elaine Fairechild from the Land of Make-believe would make a special appearance.
so jivanna says i'm her new best friend and it's funny, once u literally travel through dirty, shit frappe with someone, you can't help but have a bond. and then everything after that point was just super, bondy, fun time--a mutual love of pickles and more or less a contest at who can be the dorkiest. but i know this won't last. she'll find a new favorite next week and i'll be back to swimming in my canoe alone again...maybe i can train my dog to paddle. or, i'll ask lady elaine to help out. She's got special powers, ya know.
This was the first time I ever saw my dog swim. She is great in the water.
This is J with mama-Janga
This is Jivanna putting stars on my pup
This is my dog wearing star antennae while I drive to get bunny hutch
This is Dell, Mick and Brian setting up fire
Sunset
Sacred fire, pixelated cellphone pic
Swimming out to greet the Mama and her ducklings. I was so proud of her. *gush*
No comments:
Post a Comment